Happy Long Weekend!

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE!! I don't know about everyone else, but I am damn proud to be a Canadian! Canada is pretty legit. So cheers to that!

 Phew.  Is it just me or has June flown by?  I don't even remember what exactly I did. Hahaha. Obviously I kept myself busy enough not to remember what I did.  OH! There was the Stanley Cup.  My thoughts on that are: Vancouver went into the playoffs as the favourite - they were the number one ranked team. But, they played like shit, and let's be honest, I was cheering for the Canucks too, but Boston danced circles around Van.  Van got seriously outplayed. Seriously. 4 goals in 4 mins??!! Really?? Really?? So I wasn't overly upset when Boston took the cup: 1. Thomas was spot on every game, 2. They outplayed Van and 3. There are more Canadians on the Bruins than the Canucks...so its kinda sorta like the Cup coming home to Canada. Kinda.  I'm not going to even talk about the riots. All I'm going to say is what a bunch of goons.

I also traveled to Ktown for some shenanigans with some of my favourite people.  Theme for the trip? Chocolate cake and grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey! Duh. Good times!

Today I went to the 5 wk puppy visitation! For pictures, see facebook.  I bring my "first born" home the week of July 18th. SO EXCITING!! And tomorrow, I'm headed up to the cottage till the 16th.  There is nothing like summers in Muskoka. My happy place. MD, you feel me on that? OH, I almost forgot! I also bought a road bike! I am now the proud owner of felt bike!  I signed up for the 2012 Ride to Conquer Cancer - 230 K from Toronto to Niagara Falls. Training starts immediately.  Hey, it's all coming back to me now - I also volunteered at the 2011 Ride.  It was like nothing I have ever experienced - the vibe at that ride is unreal. It's so inspirational.  I highly recommend getting involved. It was awesome! I think $17.5 million was raised? Amazing!

Ok, now on a more serious note.  My 6-mos MRI results were unchanged from March.  I was a bit thrown off by this as I was hoping it would shrink some more, just like my 3-mos scan.  I quickly learned that when you're dealing with brain cancer, unchanged or stable is very, very good news.  My oncologist said the MRI results were very good, and he also mentioned that it may not change from now until I'm done treatment.  He also added that if it doesn't change in size then the treatment is working.  The MRI results might as well be written in Greek, but from what I gather the bottom line is: no change since my last MRI.  And the unchanged activity they do see (which flares or is highlighted by the contrast dye) is either due to residual tumour or postoperative changes (which basically means they can't tell the difference whether it's the tumour showing up or postoperative changes).  So all in all excellent news, and I started cycle 7 yesterday.  In other news, my oncologist decided to pull me off Dilantin since apparently it's not working anyways - my levels are at 7, and they are supposed to be at 40. Hahaha, ya I'll say it's not working. I also asked about my drivers license. What a damn saga.  I can't drive yet because he wants to see if I'm stable off Dilantin - even though it hasn't been working for a good few months anyways - say what??!!  He also said "Sarah, as a brain tumour patient, you may never drive again, and you should adjust your life accordingly".  Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture? Adjust this buddy.  He should be telling me the opposite. You just do your job so that I CAN drive again.

I haven't heard from or seen Larry lately.  I hope he's doing ok.  Stay strong.

I also have some sad sad news.  A dear friend, Laurie Clement, passed away recently from ovarian cancer.  She battled bravely for over 4 long years. Our family have been summering with the Clements for 21 years, and I know the family well - we practically grew up together.  It always hits a little closer to home when cancer takes another life. To Andrea, Sam and Ted: You are all in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.  I am sending you strength and love.  I have so many wonderful memories of Laurie and your family up in Muskoka. I look back on all those summers with a smile.

Someone once asked me if the fear of walking a tight rope ever gets easier.  The answer is no. No it doesn't.  I still think about my own mortality...about the what ifs.  I can't help it...Part of the job description I guess.  I still feel like I'm balancing on a dime, against shitty odds.  Cancer harshly reminds us all of the fragility of life.  It does not discriminate by race, gender, or age. Even though my cancer journey is going as well as could be...it's still cancer, and I still experience the roller-coaster of emotions, fears, and uncertainty that goes along with the c-word.  But as Lance Armstrong said: "...When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up or fight like hell".  Fight like hell. Fight. Like. Hell.