I finished round 8 last week and all is well. I'm feeling a bit more tired now that we're getting near the end. I was supposed to start my hardcore fitness training/workouts last week, but I slept for four days instead. Ah well. I also had a MRI in September, and the results were good - stable. No change. My oncologist is really pleased with that, and if he's happy, I'm happy. So now I only have 3 more mos of treatment to go, finishing up in December. Merry "Cancer-Free" Christmas to me!! (Disclaimer: Susan would like me to point out that I'll never be cancer free. As if I didn't know that. Wouldn't want to have any misconceptions on that crucial point, so there it is). I also plan on having a huge party in January, and get me some tattoos. Yup, that's right Mom, you read that right. A tattoo. I mean really, not only did I “beat" cancer, and survive a year of treatment, but I managed to keep my kick-ass sense of humor, intelligence, and stunning good looks in tact! And that's awesome!
As my year of treatment comes to an end, I keep thinking what the F am I going to do now? Like any 26 year old, I'd like my own life, my own house...Susan says: "Sarah, you need a job before you can get a house." Yes, Mom, thank you, I know. Geez. Although living downtown Toronto would be phenomenal....my 85 + lb dog would take up the entire condo. So I've had to rethink my plan: get a cute little country house with lots of land. I also plan to get another golden when Ryder is older, so having some land would be ideal. The only problem with that is the commute to TO. Which brings me to my next dilemma. A job. Here's the 411 on that: I got accepted into UofT nursing for Sept. 2012. Pros: It's a two year program, and I would go into oncology or cardiology. I think being a nurse would give me an opportunity to really make a difference. I have a strong research/science background, and I've also been a patient. Good money, good benefits, hot doctors...Perfect right?! Cons: I would be pushing 30 when I graduate (old balls in other words), and I wouldn't have an income for another two years. Oh, and it's another two years of school annnddd it doesn't start until 2012. So what am I going to do until then? I could get a position in clinical research at one of the major hospitals downtown. That'd be pretty sweet. And I could either, keep my job, or quit and go be a nurse. Hmmmmm. Thoughts anyone?? I'm expecting you all to weigh in here since I suck at making decisions.
Also, has anyone seen 50/50? I'd like to go see it, but I don't wanna spend 2 hours balling like a baby. I've heard the guy who wrote the screenplay had cancer, so mad kudos to him. That gave it a few more points in my books. If it was some random guy trying to tell me what having cancer at 26 is like, I'd have some choice words!!
On a much more serious note, my friend Larry, whom I've mentioned quite a few times in my posts, has decided to stop treatment. The IV chemo he was given resulted in blood clots, and the family has decided that that's enough and to give Larry the best quality of life that they can. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and his family. It's brutally unfair...that his cancer could just take so much from him and his family. But there's one thought that keeps running through my head and it's that we're all living, breathing, we're all alive...We can all enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning, a summer sunset, sand between our toes, a fire on a cold winter's day, a good, nice long run, the sound and smell of the ocean, or dangling your legs in the water while sitting on the dock...whatever it is, it's all these simple little things that no one thinks twice about. But we should think twice and take nothing for granted....because some of us don't have that chance...And to me, the only way to maybe justify the shittyness of it all, is for me to grab life by the balls and live it. In some way, I guess I owe to it Larry to really live my life and do the things on my bucket list...So people, what I'm saying is stop and enjoy that summer sunset, or marvel over how delicious that cup of java really is, or how good it feels after a good, long run...whatever rocks your boat, make sure you really rock it.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. - Albert Einstein.
